Why Don’t We Do the Things We Know We Should

Have you ever found yourself asking: “Why do I keep doing the very thing I know isn’t helping me?” Or perhaps: “Why am I not doing the thing I know would move me forward?” If so, you’re certainly not alone. Over the past nineteen years as a mindset and performance coach, I’ve worked with countless intelligent, capable and successful people who already know what they need to do. However, what sits at the foundation of all their frustrations and confusion is this hidden question they cannot answer: “Why Don’t We Do the Things We Know We Should?”  You see, most people know what to do, yet don’t do it. So, let’s explore why this happens and how we can change this.

Most People Know What They Should Do

They know they should exercise, set better boundaries, focus on their priorities. Furthermore, the importance of having the difficult conversation, setting regular team meetings or reaching out for more sales.

And yet, despite having access to more information than ever before, many people still find themselves stuck. Interestingly, there is a gap between knowing and doing. Moreover, this is exactly why we don’t do the things we know we should. There is what I call a knowing-to-doing gap. This gap causes us to sabotage our success so we get stuck in a cycle of frustration, avoidance or procrastination. Ultimately, we are exceedingly bad at being consistent with tasks that matter and following through. Our head says one thing but our body doesn’t seem to want to follow.

One Conversation Recently Reminded Me Of This In A Powerful Way

A lady from the USA reached out as she was stuck. During our chat she casually mentioned someone close to her who had spent years in therapy, yet still wasn’t seeing meaningful change in her life. It immediately reminded me of a former client of mine, Chris. When Chris first came to me, he had spent years working on himself. He had explored his patterns, spoken to therapists, read extensively, and genuinely wanted things to improve. Yet despite all of that effort, he still felt trapped by the same thoughts, frustrations and behaviours.

That experience reinforced something I see repeatedly: Knowledge alone doesn’t create transformation. Without awareness it’s almost impossible to change. This means awareness is the first step to change. Next, intentional action is the key to start the process of lasting change.

Why Don’t We Do the Things We Know We Should

Most people assume that if they are stuck, they simply need to try harder. Work harder, push harder, become more disciplined; perhaps try to get more motivated.

But what if effort isn’t actually the problem? If effort isn’t the problem, it opens the door to a a shift in perspective and new possibilities. It’s a bit like driving a car with your foot firmly on the accelerator while the handbrake is still engaged.

You can push harder, burn more fuel, and make more noise, but you won’t move forward effectively until you identify what is holding you back.

• This is why many high achievers become frustrated.
• They are putting in effort.
• Trying hard.
• Yet they still aren’t getting the results they want.

Successful People Get Stuck Too

One of the biggest myths I encounter is that successful people have everything figured out. I know for a fact that this is not true. Whatever space we are operating in, we all get stuck, just at a different level. And honestly, no-one really wants to admit they have this secret question about why we don’t do the things we know we should. Most people try to battle through it and find their own solution. However, most people don’t solve this puzzle. In fact;

• Many successful people still procrastinate.
• They still avoid difficult tasks.
• Self-doubt is a frequent visitor
• They still struggle with consistency.

Recently, I spoke with another highly successful client who could clearly see what he needed to do, yet he wasn’t doing it. He described avoiding important actions, procrastinating, and feeling frustrated with himself. He isn’t lazy, unmotivated, or incapable, even if he thought he was. It was simply that there were drivers, hidden patterns at play – something deeper influencing his behaviours.

The Hidden Patterns Beneath Behaviour and The Question Why Don’t We Do The Things We Know We Should

Dr Joe Dispenza often talks about how much of our daily behaviour is driven by subconscious programs and automatic patterns. Whether we call them habits, old programs, limiting beliefs or learned responses, many of our behaviours operate below conscious awareness. This helps explain why people can know exactly what they should do and still struggle to follow through.

• We all have blind spots.
• Patterns of thinking that feel normal.
• Beliefs we’ve stopped questioning.
• Stories we’ve been telling ourselves for years.
• Emotional responses that have become automatic.
• Because we’re so close to them, they can be difficult to recognise on our own.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Carl Jung

These are all core themes I address in my book REWIRE – Creating a High Performance Mindset for Personal and Professional Excellence. Furthermore, as well as explaining why this happens, I share an array of techniques and tools in the book as well as a link for more free useful resources.

Why Coaching and Accountability Matter

Because most people don’t do the things they know they should, it’s one key reason why transformation is rarely a solo journey. Sometimes, we need another lens. This could be engaging an expert who has a fresh perspective, someone who understands why we don’t do the things we know we should. Usually, it isn’t more information. It if was, most people would have figured it out by now. The important step is to first understand how our mind works, identify our blind spots and work on rewiring our minds to create a high performance mindset. Often:

• It’s a different perspective.
• A powerful question.
• Practical processes.
• Support and accountability.

For Chris, the breakthrough came when he began to see himself and his situation differently during our time together. I helped him understand why we don’t do the things we should. Moreover, we focused on releasing the old patterns, equipping him with simple, yet powerful tools for change. With support and accountability he began to change the patterns that had been keeping him stuck, and step by step he transformed his circumstances, and relationship with himself.

Awareness Creates Choice

One of the core principles I share in my book REWIRE is that awareness creates choice. Awareness is always the first key to understand why we don’t do the things we know we should. When we become aware of the beliefs, patterns and behaviours driving our actions, we create the opportunity to respond differently. With awareness, we see things differently and make the unconscious programs, conscious. In turn, this opens the door for us to move from automatic reactions to making intentional choices.

And those choices ultimately shape our future. So, here’s a Question for you:

What Is One Thing You Already Know You Need To Do, But Haven’t Been Consistently Doing?

Rather than getting stuck in the why, or asking:

“How do I try harder?”

Perhaps ask:

“What might be driving this pattern?”

The answer may reveal far more than another YouTube video, productivity hack, motivational quote or podcast will. Because lasting change doesn’t come from doing more of what isn’t working. It starts with understanding what is really driving your behaviour in the first place. And then learning how to change it.

Finally, enlisting a Mindset Coach to help explain and discover your blind spots is a smart move. Why? Because, it will allow you to get unstuck and into momentum way faster. How do I know? Because I was here once. Moreover, it was only when the pain and frustration got so big that I decided to seek help. The end result? I transformed my life, left a great career, and set up my business, Mindset for Success, to help others do the same. Ultimately, in far less time and cost than it took me!

If I can help you in anyway, please reach out.

About the Author