Why is it common that we frequently end up sabotaging success, even when we don’t set out to do so? There are several reasons, and in this article I will seek to explain why it’s a very human thing. Furthermore, what you need to do to fix these faulty programs and where the solution lies. Additionally, in my work, it is one of the main reasons people reach out. They haven’t achieved that elusive level of success they are striving for. Ultimately, they know they are the problem and have been sabotaging success.
While the presenting problems are usually very different, the underlying causes of the problem are similar. Consequently, the key likes in working at the source, the subconscious mind. Finally, when I help my clients reveal and release their limiting programs, we often witness amazing transformations.
How sabotaging success patterns present at the surface
Two weeks ago I had a call from a new client. Despite having had an incredibly successful career, he admitted he constantly doubted himself. Even with numerous accolades and promotions, deep down he didn’t believe he was worthy of success. Going so far as to wonder when he would be found out as a fraud.
The resulting cost of this is vast. Wasted energy, frustration and confusion. Moreover, never quite feeling happy or fulfilled, leaving a void that could never be filled. Just the week before, I was talking to a client who constantly avoided taking action towards setting up her new business. She was procrastinating, finding other things to do and getting frustrated. This led to her feeling bad and berating herself. During our conversation, she said she didn’t feel worthy of success, believing she wasn’t good enough. When I asked her how she knew this, as the first example, she said it was the persistent voice in the head that told her so.
‘The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.’
If you have a nasty voice in your head, you are definitely not alone
As we explored this further, and I assured her she was not alone, she experienced a sense of relief. Her ‘voice,’ she said, constantly questioned her abilities, and sapped her confidence. Ultimately, creating a firmly entrenched belief that she was not worthy, and ensuring she was constantly sabotaging success in many and varied ways.
Additionally, as our beliefs and habits are run in our subconscious mind, they unconsciously and powerfully steer and shape our future, our identity and erode or build our sense of self worth.
While we all have occasional moments of doubt and comparison; it even has a name – The Imposter Syndrome – it’s vital to get to the source of why this happens before we can set about fixing things.
We inherit most of our beliefs by the age of nine which is why sabotaging success is so prevalent
When we are young, we take on beliefs from parents, teachers, family members and others in our sphere of influence. While they normally have our best interests at heart, the information comes from their unique perspectives. Their values, beliefs and what they feel is right and wrong in relation to us.
Furthermore, as our brains aren’t fully developed at this age, we interpret things differently. Additionally, children simply want to be loved, appreciated and acknowledged. If a parent or adult isn’t there for us, or tells us off, it’s common to internalise the experience as we try to make sense of the world and determine where we fit in. Moreover, we often create unhelpful meanings that stick with us and become part of our identity as we grow up. Ultimately, creating patterns and behaviours leading to sabotaging success.
As children we tend to believe it is our fault which leads to faulty patterns sabotaging success
For example, if children believe it’s their fault, they may feel there is something wrong with them, or, they are unworthy or unlovable. So they set out on a quest to prove they are worthy. Of course, on the flip side, we also take on helpful and positive beliefs! However, it’s the beliefs that limit us that have the most power in our lives and hold us back from living the life we desire. Most importantly, we create behaviours to compensate and false beliefs about ourselves.
For example, some people work hard to prove themselves. Others become people pleasers or perfectionists. Striving to get things right to prove they are worthy, gain approval, love or validation. Furthermore, some people become workaholics, or believe they are responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
Additionally, some people make poor life choices and adopt behaviours that become problematic later in life. For example, overspending, drinking, gambling, smoking and other addictive behaviours.
Ultimately, our beliefs shape our sabotaging success patterns
As we grow up, and play out our stories and behaviours, we believe this is who we are. Next, as our brains seek to bring into our lives that which we believe, we find evidence in our world to support our beliefs. Finally, if we don’t believe we are good enough, we miss opportunities. Likewise, if we believe we are shy, we shy away from accolades and play small, and if we believe we aren’t worthy, we lack courage to embrace new opportunities.
Ultimately, if we fight or argue with our voices, we make things worse. We are simply giving the limiting belief or unwanted pattern more power. Moreover, what we resist persists, and what we run away from chases us. And the pattern of sabotaging success continues.
How can we overcome this?
The key lies in re-programming our minds. First you have to discover and then clear the beliefs, limiting programs and habits that are sabotaging success and stopping you moving forward. Next, you have to create new beliefs and work on them until they become natural good habits of thought. And, trust me when I say, it is not easy to do this alone!
Having been here myself, the direct consequence of battling my inner voices, I was blessed to discover powerful, cutting edge tools that work. Indeed, they helped me heal and were the catalyst to leave a great career and set up my business, Mindset for Success.
These tools work!
I use the same tools today to help my clients discover and transform their limiting programs and beliefs into powerful and positive beliefs and programs for their future. I witness magnificent results that occur when people let go of their beliefs, exactly as I was able to do in my life.
Finally, if this doesn’t inspire you to look at your beliefs and become your best, maybe these words from the Dalai Lama will:
‘A positive state of mind is not merely good for you, it benefits everyone with whom you come into contact, literally changing the world.’ Dalai Lama
Commit to knowing yourself better, become aware of and clear your limiting patterns. Get to know who you are and what you stand for. Finally, if I can help you in any, way please reach out.
About the Author
Mandy Napier is a Global High Performance Mindset Coach who is dedicated to supporting high achievers fulfil their potential and achieve extraordinary results professionally and personally. Transformations are the norm, and results guaranteed.
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