How to ensure negative emotions don’t sabotage your success
Imagine what results you would get having let go of those unwanted negative emotions, such emotions as anger – frustration -guilt or worry? I am guessing, at the very least, you would feel freer, wouldn’t you?. This would then give you more space for new ideas, creativity and more.
The field of Quantum Physics and Science is continually studying energy, particles, atoms, molecules and their movement; how they interact inside and outside of us. It has been shown that we are all made up of energy, and are all connected.
So, What are Emotions?
Emotions and thoughts are made up of energy. Your body is like an energy sensing device, tuning into different frequencies. Whatever you are thinking and/or feeling will affect the energy inside and outside of yourself. Just like a magnet, it will attract more of the same towards it.
Your state and results will change as you understand the message behind your unwanted negative emotions,
Your emotions, and how you feel have a direct impact on your behaviours and your results. It follows that a pleasant memory of joy and happiness is even more likely to inspire and motivate you to do something positive. These feelings will fuel thoughts that match the feelings.
Impact of Negative Emotions
On the opposite side of the equation, negative emotions and states like worry, anger or frustration don’t feel great, do they? They will attract thoughts that match these states, which in turn create more negative thinking. This negative spiral fuels more of the same which influences behaviours. Take a moment to consider a time when you got caught up in some negative emotion. In particular, what thoughts were you thinking and what results did this produce?
Imagine for a moment, that an emotion, which is merely a movement of energy, is your subconscious mind’s messaging system? What would happen if you chose to look for the positive message behind the emotion? There is always an equal and opposite to everything.
When you choose to interpret the learning behind the emotion and interpret it differently, you have the potential to respond differently which means you will get different results.
How to Negate Negative Emotions
Here is how to change them.
1. When you feel unwanted negative emotions like anger or hurt, practice observing the emotion. Name it and notice where you feel it in your body.
2. Choose another meaning for how this emotion makes you feel. This will help you change your perspective, and ultimately your behaviour.
Every feeling you have, good or bad, is not based on the actual reality of life but by your own interpretation of the meaning you gave the event.
Below is a list of ten categories of emotions. As there are often various degrees of each category of emotions I have included these as well. I will discuss them in depth in another article.
CATEGORIES OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
- Fear – this may include concern, worry, apprehension, or feeling terrified.
- Hurt – this includes pain, wound or damage
- Anger – this includes anything from mild irritation to being furious, livid, resentful or absolute rage.
- Guilt – or any emotions of regret
- Disappointment– feelings of sadness, regret, dismay or sorrow.
- Inadequacy – anything that makes you feel less than or unworthy.
- Overload – overwhelm, stress, hopelessness, depression or immobilisation.
- Loneliness – any feelings of abandonment or rejection, separation, despondency.
- Uncomfortable – or any feeling related to one of uncomfortable.
If you feel something that isn’t listed above, like jealousy, ask yourself what do you really feel?
What is it that is causing you to be jealous?
Is it anger, fear or hurt? There will be something driving the jealousy.
Success is stifled by fear and dreams are diminished
FEAR. Fear is the biggest stopper in life. It stops people from taking action, achieving their goals and living a full life. The message here is that you need to prepare yourself to deal with something that is about to happen, to avoid the negative consequences. For instance, if you are fearful before you give a talk, perhaps if you are honest it is because you haven’t practised enough or you don’t know the topic?
Make sure that next time you practice more and are more prepared. If you are fearful of going on a date or meeting a new group of people it may be because you are allowing yourself to project into the future, to fall into the “what if” worry trap. Know that nothing is certain. You may have a great time and you may not. Choose to focus on the option that takes up less energy and brings a better result. Bring your focus back to the here and now and ask if there is anything you need to do to prepare. If not, how else can you view it to change perspective and find a more positive meaning?
HURT. When you feel hurt in your life, the message here is that you have an expectation that has not been met. Consequently, you feel some sense of loss which causes that hurt feeling. For example, imagine you have had a bad day at work, you get home and you just want some attention from your partner. However, they have had a bad day too and want some space. You feel they are ignoring you, so you choose to feel hurt.
Take stock of the situation and look at it from a different perspective. Is this really an appropriate way to feel and react based on the situation? Is the timing perhaps not right or could you be coming across clingy and needy? Do you need to respect their boundaries and give them some space? Perhaps it isn’t a good time right now and you could try again later?
Or, you could change the way you are communicating. State your needs and tell them why you need what you want. For example “I know you are busy, but I just need…” Communicate in a different way or realise the timing just might not be appropriate right now.
Anger harms you the most
ANGER. If you feel angry in your life, the message behind these negative emotions is that there is an important rule you have in your life that has been violated by someone else or by you. Realise that you are choosing to feel angry and if their behaviour is unacceptable, you don’t have to take it on. You can ignore it, walk away or communicate in a different manner. If you are angry with yourself, ask yourself what else could this mean? What action could you take to get out of this state? Do you need to go outside, change the environment, your behaviour or perspective?
FRUSTRATION. The message behind these negative emotions is that you may need to look at yourself and change your approach to get the result you want. Ask what else could this frustration mean? Is it something you can change or do you need to look at it differently, seek help or try something else?
How much energy do you waste feeling guilt?
GUILT. The message here is that you have violated one of your own standards and you must do something now to make sure you don’t violate it again. Learn and change something. If you often feel guilty it can also mean that you have some old programming and memories in your unconscious mind, past associations that are still hooked up. Storing guilt does no good. You may need to spend some time asking yourself where did the guilt come from? Ask yourself, what belief did you accept or what meaning did you put on an event that has caused you to continually feel guilty? (Guilt can be a toxic and deeply stored emotion and may need someone to help you let go of the years you have been holding onto this emotion. I have a number of powerful processes that can help.)
In summary, realise there is a powerful positive message behind all emotions. All you have to do is to choose to identify it, change the meaning, your perspective or behaviour to get a better result and see how this improves your relations in your life.
I guarantee that you will notice a change.