How to Improve Your Mindset and Advantageously Conquer Stress Now

A while back I ran a workshop for students at the James Cook University on the topic of ‘Healthy Mind Healthy Life’. The underlying focus was how to improve your mindset to show up and study more effectively. Additionally I was aiming to equip them with effective tips and strategies to create their own winning mindset for success. A topic in the workshop was focusing on the importance of managing stress. Furthermore, the things that cause us to feel stress, challenges and the implications of chronic stress in our lives and society today. Moreover, how to help the students manage their stress better was a key outcome. I started with a quote I love, by Kelly McGonigal, which opens up an interesting perspective for discussing stress”

‘Stress is what happens in your brain and body when something you care about is at stake.’ Kelly McGonigal

This quote highlights how we can view stress differently. It’s a brilliant reframe and alternate view to looking at stress. Ultimately, if you don’t care you wouldn’t feel stressed.

And, if you had no stress at all, ever, you wouldn’t care about anything would you? Furthermore, you may well end up in a state of apathy. Moreover, the feeling that can come with apathy is depression. And really, who wants to go down this path? Embracing this perspective on stress certainly helps you question and find a new meaning on the cause of your stress. Furthermore, when you see stress differently, you can improve your mindset and create a better mindset for success.

Additionally, here is the more common definition of stress below:

‘A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.’

Improving your mindset and releasing your mental and emotional stress is key

If stress is a mental or emotional strain it is fuelled by how we think and how we feel. How much we ruminate on a situation and play it over and over in our minds. Furthermore, emotional strain means we will feel uncomfortable somewhere in our body. Accordingly, it may escalate to intense physical reactions. Because we feel stress and as our emotions drive our actions, we may take less than optimal actions that lead to poor behaviours, unhelpful habits and impacting others adversely. Finally, when our responses to stress become habitual, they become automatic. This is because habits are a function of our subconscious mind which is beneath our conscious awareness.

The key question therefore is to ask, ‘How can you improve your mindset to manage stress better?’

In our busy, fast-paced worlds, we use the word stress in many contexts and lump it together in one big bucket of stress. This includes minor irritants to frustrations, and larger stressful events, such as death, illness, relationship breakdowns and loss of a job. To help you improve your mindset, here is a powerful way to help you conquer any overload of stress you may be experiencing.

Daily stressors and activities of everyday life create the greatest stress

First, imagine a line or continuum of stress. Next, draw a line across a page with three columns. The left-hand column is for severe stressors. What we might term traumatic events. Second, the middle column is for all the things that add to your stress levels. Situations and activities of daily life. For example, deadlines at work, minor ailments, juggling schedules, kids and activities. Additionally, tasks related to daily living, such as cooking, cleaning and organising the household. Next, activities that create stress such as preparing and cooking dinner as well as working in a busy and demanding job. How to drop kids off at sports, shopping, organising the household and other tasks. Finally, the stress you feel due to time you waste looking for things in a busy or disorganised household or office.

Finally, the far right column is for what we call ‘irritants.’ These include poor drivers, poor service such as getting the wrong coffee order and only realising when you get to the office. Moreover, activities such as standing in a queue, being on hold to a service provider or waiting for an appointment. In summary, you now have three columns for your stressors:

Column One

1. Traumatic events and experiences such as illness, death or losing a job.

Column Two

2. Daily activities and pressures from activities of daily life.

Column Three

3. Irritating events such as getting the wrong coffee order or getting stuck in a traffic jam.

How to improve your mindset by separating your stressors

The next step is to write down all your stressors into the appropriate column on the continuum line. This activity helps separate truly stressful events from irritants and stressors in everyday life. Being able to distinguish things that are important to you to those that aren’t is key. Furthermore, it helps you identify situations you can control and those you can’t. Moreover, you see things from a different perspective and accordingly, find better ways to handle the things that cause stress in your life. Note: Anything on the far left that include severe stressors may need time, care, support and sometimes professional help.

The ‘irritants,’ when you consider them, probably don’t have much significance in your life, do they? Do they impact your goals, values and desires? However, I bet you get really frustrated and worked up over them? Take a few breaths, realise they are quite insignificant and outside your control. Choose instead to breathe in calm and let them go. This activity alone will free up stuck energy and you will feel lighter and more in control. Furthermore, it helps create a better habit for success and accomplishing more.

Filter out the stressors in the middle, the largest group

Finally, filter out the stressors in the middle. Remember, these are mostly activities and things that are important to you because you care! Having strategies to manage these stressors will help you conquer many of your stressors, regain more control and certainty and become a master in this domain. Here are a few tips to help:-

• First, could you take a few minutes to get more organised in managing your tasks or juggling kids, drop-offs and leisure commitments?
• Next, how about scheduling time to tidy up, make a plan, ditch or delegate some stuff?
• If these aren’t possible or relevant, then simply try changing the story you tell yourself about why and how this thing is stressing you out? Focus on creating a new meaning that helps you see the situation differently. This will help you feel better if nothing else. One of the greatest gifts that you have is your ability to choose one or more unique meanings from your experiences. Importantly, there is always another way to view something. Everything in life has an equal and opposite side. Finally, when you see things differently you are learning how to improve your mindset and creating a better mindset for success. 

Try making light of the situation and laughing helps improve your mindset instantly

• Lastly, if appropriate to the situation, simply laugh at yourself or the situation. Moreover, do something fun instead. Fun is undoubtedly one of the best stress diffusers. You can’t hold onto two opposing emotions at once.
• According to Ben Tal Shahar in his book ‘Happier,’ the two foundations of happiness are meaning and pleasure. As a result, the above strategy will help you improve your mindset, become adept at seeings things from a new perspective which is a great skill for all success in life. Finally, the keys to creating a champion mindset and building focus and taking intentional action.

To finish with the words of William James:-

‘The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.’

In conclusion, next time you feel ‘stressed’, stop and use the above method to help you reframe, release and relieve yourself of much-imposed pressure, overthinking, ruminating and wasted energy.

I guarantee this will help improve your wellbeing, health, relationships, productivity and improve your mindset. Ultimately to live a happier life. Remember your mindset is a set of attitudes and beliefs you hold about life. Above all, when you improve this, you have the ultimate keys for freeing yourself from stress and living a healthier and more meaningful life.

What causes you to feel stressed and how do you manage your stress? What strategies do you use to improve your mindset? I would love to know.

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