How your identity can trap your absolute success

Absolute success. What does this mean to you? What does it look like and do you have your own version of absolute success? Wherever you are on your journey, there is one major hurdle to be aware of. That one hurdle is the labels you consistently use about yourself. Your labels start as throwaway statements you say about yourself. Soon they become your beliefs. Your beliefs shape your identity, and who you believe you are influences your results and life. Furthermore, beliefs and phrases we repeat become habits. Moreover, habits are run outside our conscious awareness, yet are critical drivers of success.

Only when you start to question your beliefs will you be able to see yourself differently. With this awareness you have a choice to shift your labels and free yourself from your limiting beliefs. Opening up to more of your potential and stepping closer to your version of absolute success. Furthermore, if you fail to become aware of your labels, you will stay stuck and fail to become the person you know you are capable of being. The question we need to ask then, is how do we get beneath our identity shapers and free ourselves from the ones that don’t serve us anymore?

I am labels are often the ones that trap your absolute success

Last week, while I was working with a client we were addressing her anxiety. I asked her how long she had felt anxious and she replied, ‘I have always been anxious. I am an anxious person.’ I asked her how she knew she was anxious. In other words, how she did anxious? After a puzzled look on her face, she became aware that the phrase, ‘I am always anxious,’ was part of her identity. She wasn’t sure where it came from, or how she did it. Ultimately, she realised it was a feeling around which she wove a story which shaped her life. Every time she experienced the feeling she told herself she was anxious. It didn’t take long before it became a habit, and part of her identity. She believed she was an anxious person.

What do you do when you are anxious?

What happens when you say you are anxious? First, your words and stories influence how you feel and what you do, and vice versa. When you say you are anxious, your body creates chemicals that match the words. This works in reverse too. When you feel anxious and tell yourself you are, you create more anxious feelings which tend to escalate. We attach ourselves to our anxiety, create a label which becomes part of our belief and identity. Moreover, we limit our absolute success and don’t do enough of the the things we know we should.

What do you say when you are stressed?

‘I am stressed?’

And if someone asks you if have children?

‘I am a mother, or I am a father.’

Perhaps you say ‘I am married.’ ‘I am divorced.’ ‘I am single.’

And what you do for a living? ‘I am a business owner.’ ‘I am a CEO.’ ‘I am a nurse.’

However, labels are necessary to give us a sense and purpose, yet sometimes we add a bunch of labels that aren’t useful and keep us stuck.

Labels give us a sense of meaning and can help us feel a sense of importance

We spend time and energy doing the things we love, so we tell people what we do. Then, we give ourselves labels that create a sense of self and significance. Sometimes we say we are an athlete, a tennis player, a business owner, a mother, carer or nurse. Our labels are our areas of influence and focus. However, some of our labels would be worthy of shaking off. Detaching from our subconscious mind. So the key is to dig deeper into our subconscious mind and dismantle our limiting beliefs, labels and identity shapers.

Statements such as ‘I am not experienced enough to apply for this job’ erode our absolute success

Sentences such as: ‘I am not experienced enough to apply for this job,’ or ‘I don’t know enough to get this job,’ keep us stuck? Remember, your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs influence your results. The labels of ‘not experienced’ or ‘not knowing enough.’ means you probably won’t go for the job. So the chance of new opportunities, a promotion, more money, fall by the wayside. An opportunity lost because of a sticky label.

Decide to explore your I am labels to ensure your chances of absolute success

Make a decision to explore your ‘I am’s.’ Take stock of your labels and look at them through the lens of curiosity. Curiously ask how it is limiting your life? How is it keeping you away from achieving your absolute success? Remember, whatever you spend most of your conscious and unconscious time thinking of, will grow in your reality. Energy flows where attention goes. So next time you hear yourself saying ‘I am,’ if it is anything less than positive and inspiring, change it! Say it enough and you will open up new neural pathways and soon create a new habit of thought. These are just as important as creating new behaviours and habits. Creating a plan and staying on track is also a key step in creating new habits.

Removing your limiting beliefs is a key step to increasing your chances of absolute success

Awareness is the first step to change. Curiosity and questioning your assumptions and statements. When you are aware, choose a new statement that separates the label from you, your identity. Try saying ‘There is a feeling of anxiety, and that can change. I will breathe and take one small step.’  Or, ‘I will give it a go, in relation to the job opportunity.’ Whatever you do make sure you do not limit your life by labelling yourself with limiting labels. Just as you can change a sweater, you can easily change a label. Working at the level of identity is one of the key roles of a Mindset Coach.

How have you allowed your labels to shape your perception about who you are? And how ‘good enough’ you are? Furthermore, are they sabotaging your absolute success? If so, choose new labels. Pick ones that serve and support your results, champion you to be the awesome human being you are. This is one of the greatest shifts you can do in your thinking. Moreover, it will help you detach yourself from anxiety, stress, or not good enough labels. Turn poor thinking patterns into new habits. And then, watch the magic happen!

About the Author