How much Emotional baggage are you carrying around?
It’s getting towards the end of the year. What better time to clear out the old to make room for the new? One of the heaviest bags we carry around is our emotional baggage; our past frustrations, resentments, guilt, anger, or regrets. They are heavy, weigh us down, prevent us from moving forward and damage our health and happiness.
The source of emotional baggage
The source of emotional baggage often comes from conversations we have had; what has been said and what hasn’t been said. The meanings we attribute to our conversations can clash with our sense of right and wrong, polar beliefs and values.
Good communication is the key.
Communication sits at the base of this. Yet, too often, people don’t speak their truth or ask intelligent questions to seek clarity on what the other person actually meant. Poor communication is why problems with relationships, business success and sales, arise.
Emotions and their effects.
We easily take things personally, being the emotional creatures we are. Yet, if we realised that everyone is doing the best they can with their resources available and according to their ‘rules,’ it puts a different perspective on situations. We all interpret things through our own unique perspective and context.
What this means is, emotional baggage can build-up from issues stemming from the meanings we place on experiences, either said or done; good or bad. Consequently, any unresolved issues left to stew can stay with us for years, moreover, sometimes a lifetime.
Emotional Baggage can be toxic
Taking things too personally leads to harbouring resentment. Don Miguel Ruiz in his book ‘The Four Agreements,’ explains this brilliantly:-
‘Don’t take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs and opinions. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. That person tried to send poison to you and if you take it personally, then you take that poison and it becomes yours.’
Can you remember a particular person or past event which still niggles away in your mind? Notice how this sits with you now and how you would feel as a result of having this thing resolved?
Here is how to resolve this and let it go
- Write down who you haven’t forgiven, what things, situations or people against whom you are harbouring resentment, anger or other negative emotions.
- Ask yourself how you would feel if you were to forgive them? If you can’t forgive, could you accept it? What would happen if you accepted that you can’t change things outside of your control, yet changing things within your control?
Emotional baggage – now it’s time to release it
- Sit quietly and consciously and take a few slow deep breaths.
- Next, following each inhale and exhale with your awareness, put your focus on your heart.
- Imagine being in a beautiful place, somewhere that you feel happy, calm or where you can create a positive feeling. You may choose to be there with a special person or persons.
- As you imagine being in this place, notice exactly what you can see, hear and feel. Next, breathe the good feeling into your heart, and imagining it expanding like a big balloon into your heart, filling it up completely. Finally, notice the colour of your bubble.
- Now imagine sending out smaller bubbles from your heart, with this feeling and colour, to the other person.
- Notice it surrounding them and flowing from you like a figure of eight round them. Then, notice the bubble dividing into two as if they were then, in their own bubble and you in yours.
- Say the words, “I forgive you, do you forgive me?” Imagine receiving a yes on both sides, as a result.
- Remember, all you are doing is forgiving part of yourself. If you struggle with the word forgiveness, try using acceptance.
- Do this every day for the next two weeks. Notice what difference it makes to your emotional and mental state. Make sure you use it often to keep yourself free from carrying around any extra emotional baggage in your life.
The more you let your baggage go the more you free yourself up and open space for more resourceful feelings and thoughts to take their place. Most of all, when you do this, watch the magic happen in your life. Check out more ways to clear out your unwanted emotions,
About the Author
Mandy’s focus is to help people understand how their mind works and what drives them in their life. Secondly, to equip people with powerful mind tools and winning strategies to create lasting transformations and extraordinary results professionally and personally.
Here are three ways to start transforming your results today:
- To discover more about your amazing mind and how you can harness its powers to breakthrough your results, grab a copy of my free guide ‘Your Winning Mindset.’
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