Ash Barty knows all about self reflection. As the world’s number one ranked female tennis player she recently made a huge decision to retire from tennis. Indeed, she has meticulously spent time during her career to answer two vital questions I believe we all need to ask ourselves. Furthermore, taking time to discover the answers to these questions opens up the potential for living a more meaningful, purposeful and perspective rich life. Moreover, she has an enormous level of humility, confidence, poise and awareness that simply emanates out from her. I reckon we can all benefit with some self reflection on these questions, whatever level of mastery we feel we have in our lives right now.
The following insights are taken from various interview and articles that discuss Ash Barty, her success, journey and what makes her the incredible human being that she is. Finally, I have sprinkled in some questions for you to ask yourself. My intention is they inspire you to take time for that all important pursuit of self reflection.
Why is it important to take time for self reflection?
First, self reflection is a key for learning and growing. And if we aren’t learning and growing we are stagnating or possibly, going backwards. Moreover, self reflection helps us become more confident and step into our best self. To live our life with meaning, purpose and whatever our version of success and fulfilment means. In addition, it is a prerequisite to change direction, get new results or change career. It helps us leverage our wins and learn from our losses. Furthermore, we must be brave to participate in self-reflection and schedule some quiet time. Pause from our busy lives and simply stop. From here we can address the two important questions we must answer: ‘Who am I?’ and ‘What do I want?’ Answering these questions helps us live a life with more direction, purpose and drive.
Finally, in the workplace, self reflection helps us boost our effectiveness, productivity and engagement. Lead and empower our teams.
“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection, will come even more effective action.” Peter Drucker
Lessons from elite athletes
There are many lessons we can learn from elite athletes, teams and their successes and failures. Moreover, I reference many of these in my blogs. First, comes the quintessential lesson of incremental improvement, as exemplified by David Brailsford and the phenomenal success of the British Cycling team, Team Sky. Moreover, this highlights how a Mindset focusing on improvement is key in all success. Next comes the skill of mental rehearsal, the results of which are so beautifully played out by Michael Phelps, in his phenomenal swimming success. Third, is the art of persistence, as illustrated numerous times, none so touching as when athletes overcome massive adversities.
A recent example has to be Dani Stevens, the discus thrower who came back from a horrendous and career threatening injury to compete at the Tokyo Olympics. Finally, can you remember Steven Bradbury, the ‘Last Man Standing?’ Famous for winning Olympic gold as the last competitor in the game. Or, any number of incredible stories of our Paralympians.
Ash has enormous humility which comes with self-awareness and a desire to be a decent human being
However, back to Ash and her lessons. A few of the standout keys are, her focus on her team, a rock solid sense of self, passion, fun, love of sports, humility, self-awareness and a quest to learn, grow and contribute. Traits we can all reflect upon in our lives. Jim Courier says of Ash:
“Ash is the most self-aware player in the game.” Jim Courier
Ash Barty credits her amazing mind coach, Ben Crowe, for much of her success. He helped her answer the two fundamental questions, which take courage and time for self reflection. However, they open the doors to a far richer life.
“Who am I?”
“What do I want?”
Answering the first question, “Who am I,” can only be done when we lean in and dig deep into ourselves. We must first be brave to look at ourselves with the lens of self reflection. We must ask ourselves tough questions and be patient with ourselves to allow the answers to evolve and develop over time. Sometimes, it takes time and patience to unlock our truth.
Yet, it is in this space of waiting and being vulnerable where magic happens. Moreover, as a Mindset and Performance Coach, it is these questions and others I ask my clients to help them be their best and change their results.
When we dare to dig deep into ourselves, ask the hard questions, we are sowing seeds for magic to happen.
“Ash has been on a beautiful journey and done an enormous amount of heavy lifting to work out who she is and find that unconditional sense of self.” Ben Crowe
Question: Who are you, and what do you want?
Being able to separate your self-worth from what you do is a rare gift
“Tennis is what she does but not who she is” Craig Tyzzer
Ash has done something few athletes do. She can separate herself from her sports and knows who she is, independent of her sporting success and fame. This can only be achieved with intense self-reflection and focus on your path. It is common to see athletes, at the completion of their career, flounder and lose focus. Although painful at the time, the seeds of self reflection need to be nurtured so they can sprout into new beginnings. Digging deep and discovering who they are is necessary before they can reinvent themselves and move forward into the next chapter of life.
“When you own who you are and your story, you don’t get distracted by expectations of others.” Ben Crowe
Question: How would you define who you are if your only rule was to keep it separate from what you do, or how you may have labelled yourself in the past?
Ash knows her values, dreams and motivations.
A major benefit of taking time for self-reflection is getting to know what motivates and inspires you. Furthermore, to discover what is important and what matters. Values exploration is a major focus in my work and a prerequisite for self mastery. Next, to set goals in accordance with what is important. Moreover, one of Ash’s dreams was to win Wimbledon. Accomplishing this dream was the catalyst for further self reflection and a change in direction.
“When you work so hard your whole life for one goal, to be able to win Wimbledon, which was the one true dream that I wanted in tennis, that really changed my perspective.”
Question: What do you value? And what big goal do you want to accomplish in your life?
Focus on what you can control not what you can’t
You cannot control a lot of the world around you, or ultimately, other people and their expectations However, you can control your mindset, your thoughts, and your feelings. You can work on developing good habits, manage your choices, how you respond and your behaviours. Ash is a master of focusing on the things inside her control.
‘She focuses on the things she can control.’ Ben Crowe
Another element of letting go of the things we cannot control is other people’s expectations as well as our own internal expectations. Too often, they are rooted in other people’s beliefs, lost dreams, rules and societal norms. While our loved ones may want the best for us, if we aren’t truly aligned with them, we feel pressure, conflict and even resentment. All of this takes energy and keeps us away from being in flow. Only when we take time for self reflection can we shift perspectives and learn to let go of what is not our truth.
Question: What expectations may be holding you stuck? Can you see a different perspective on them and shift them?
Ashy Barty exudes an attitude of extreme gratitude and an intention to have fun
As Ben Crowe wisely points out, ‘tennis is a game!’ Moreover, the word game conjures up fun and enjoyment. And when we have fun, we perform at a higher level. Not taking ourselves too seriously helps! Furthermore, adopting an attitude of gratitude is the antidote to the pressure we put on ourselves, overcoming setbacks, bad times and challenges in life. And this is something Ash often refers to.
“I am so grateful for everything that tennis has given me.’ Ash Barty
Another important driver in achieving our goals is desire. Desire is what fuelled Ash for so many years. However, she openly admits she lost some of her drive after achieving her childhood dream of winning Wimbledon.
“I just had that gut feeling after Wimbledon and there was just a little part of me that wasn’t quite satisfied, that wasn’t quite fulfilled. Then came the challenge of the Australian Open and that seemed the perfect way.
To be at the top of any sport, business or endeavour, you must have desire and commitment as the first steps. Without desire, you will not have the drive to do what is necessary. To bear the high cost of success and the sacrifices necessary to do what it takes. Finally, having gratitude for all you have and those who have helped you get to where you are now is key.
Achieving goals and milestones can open the door to a change in direction
After winning Wimbledon, Ash reflected that a part of her was no longer committed to the journey. However, she did refocus and went on to win the Australian Open, a fitting time to bow out.
It was here, at the Australian Open in January 2022, where Ash reached her pinnacle of success. Her amazing come back in the second set to be the first Australian woman to win the Australian Open since Chris O’Neil in 1978. Furthermore, being able to turn the chapter in life with no regrets is the mark of a very self-aware human and one who has truly mastered those important two questions.
‘I know in my heart that for me, as a person, this is right. I have given everything and I have nothing more to give.’ Ash Barty
Question: What do you need to do to achieve your pinnacle of success, so you, too, can turn the chapter in the book of your life? And how committed are you?
It goes without saying that self reflection requires a curious mindset and a desire to learn and grow
Being curious about yourself, asking better questions with the intent to learn, improve and grow is a key to embrace the skill self reflection as a daily habit. Furthermore, when you know who you are as a human being, as Ben Crowe majestically says:
‘You can focus on the human doing.’
When you focus on doing what needs to be done to achieve your goals without question, you stretch, learn and grow continually.
Question: Do you feel you have a curious mindset and one that is set towards growth and learning? If not, what needs to change?
Finally to live life with no regrets can only be done first with a big dose of self reflection
“I wouldn’t change a thing and I have no regrets.” Ash Barty
So now, if you haven’t already worked out who you are, what you stand for and what you really want, it may be time for some serious self reflection? I guarantee this is the way to find meaning and purpose, peace and fulfilment in life. A higher level of happiness and contentment. This can all be achieved with self reflection, focus on mindset and mental and emotional mastery. Something I am guessing most people desire?
As I know from my own journey, digging deep into oneself is scary, yet the rewards are massive. And of course, nothing worth getting is ever easy, is it? It takes courage, desire and a curious mindset to take that first step. Next, a big dose of kindness and compassion. Finally, going inside is much easier with the help of an expert Mindset coach and will yield a higher degree of certainty in life. Something that many people need more of in their lives today.
‘It takes courage to lean in and give permission to give yourself unconditional love.’ Ben Crowe
You need to have courage to take that first step towards self reflection
If you are ready to lean in, dig deep, increase your meaning, purpose, and perspective, then I invite you to reach out. Check out how Mindset Coaching can help you. Coaching with an expert who understands what it takes yields exponential results. And while none of us can be quite like Ash Barty, we all have our own uniqueness, talents, traits and direction to walk in life.
I can say with one hundred percent certainty, leaning in, digging deep, and answering the hard questions, taking lots of time for self reflection was the greatest journey I took. A journey that continues and will continue for as long as I am alive. To end with the last words from Craig Tyzzer, her tennis coach:
“It was never about success, it was about trying to find the best Ash could be.” Craig Tyzzer
Profound words. So my last question to you is this one:
Question: What do you need to do to find your best self?
About the Author
Mandy Napier is a Global High Performance Mindset Coach who is dedicated to supporting high achievers fulfil their potential and achieve extraordinary results professionally and personally. Transformations are the norm, and results guaranteed.
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